I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy


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We are now mostly an audience, it seems to me. Veronica, your biblical texts to support the topic are excellent. The writer Peter did a wonderful analysis. God bless you. See 1 Timothy Chapter 3, for Elders and Deacons. Jesus only had 12 disciples….

"I Ain't Well--but I Sure Am Better" : Mutual Need Therapy

The point was that one person cannot assist in growing the church if he is in the weeds doing the work of ministry at the same time and all the time. Up to a certain number of people they can handle this but when you look at the number of pastors who quit in the first 5 years of ministry, you will understand that the mindset people have the pastor should know my whole life, etc etc is a large reason they quit….

This article is clearly stating that a pastor must step back and disciple people who can disciple others in his place so the church can grow and help more people. Jesus was not liked by all who followed him. I wonder if Jesus, the Good Shepherd, the One who would, and did, lay down His life for the sheep, would agree with you. I realize that He made the ultimate sacrifice for the salvation of our souls, but He modeled great love and care for people. He invested in them, and they in turn invested in others. I do not expect my pastor to be the only one responsible for care ministry, but I do expect that I can know my pastor loves me.

So, since He is Spiritually here today, I cannot believe that is or should be the primary focus of the local church. I actually do believe in birthing new churches who can and will model the church in Acts. That does not minimize my belief in and responsibility for growing the universal church through evangelism and missions.

Churches are supposed to show forth the love of Christ, but at most that love shown is extremely superficial. But after going to many churches over the past 17 years, I am sad to say he is right.

Pastors are the among the most entitled, spoiled, and presumptuous people with superiority complexes on the planet. There is no pastoral care to speak of at most churches. If the house churches are the only ones showing love and care to people why not just go with house churches like the pattern of the Apostles time, and abandon the large churches and their worthless money grubbing pastors? And what happened to men like the Apostle Paul who worked making tents so as not to burden others?


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It is a pathetic state of affairs especially when half the population has bought the non-biblically supported political idea that care for the sick and underprivileged should always only the job of the church, not the government. But until the Church starts acting like the Church instead of a corporation, that is totally unrealistic.

The modern Laodicean church brings shame to Christ. The Church leadership is so blind most have no idea how badly they need to repent and get their priorities straight! Since Jesus said the gospel is supposed to be good news to the poor, them pastoral care and help should not be left to chance. You really seem to have it figured out. Three questions, in your mind what is the church? Do you really know and care about your pastor or does the pay cheque take care of that? I pastored a Church about 10 years ago, I had a break down because of the overwhelming workload of a growing church. The church grew because I am gifted in caring for the poor, but my strength became my weekness.

The issues are real! Growing a church to thousands is not my goal.

Caring for people and helping them to know Christ and experience transformational salvation is. I intend to support myself and never take up offerings, if people want to give they can plan it and do it direct to the bank. Please pray that God will help us plant a church that would be pleasing to Him. With sheep like you they have to be! You have been to 17 churches? Seems as though those 17 churches are better without you. And this reply by you illustrates why the person went to 17 churches. There he found sweet souls like you. Picture these words in the mouth of Jesus Christ!

This post made me thankful that our Pastor leads the way that he does. Balance is so important to the ministry. We currently have several men in our church along with their wives, if needed for ladies who assist our Pastor in caring for our church members. It is a comfort to know that yes, even though he is a busy person in the ministry, he has set up people he trusts to help us in his stead.


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Thank you for sharing this post! The church try to hold down the truth of what is. The learning of things that the church says is not true when science show it is true. The people need to know the truth but it is hard to tell the truth when on one will belive the truth. So the best way is to kill each other that do not know the truth so that the truth is left. What would you say about a pastor that uses the congregation for self gain. He even expects them to build a new house for him. Anything he wants he expects the congregation to supply.

Vacations to Florida etc. But if someone needs money for food or money the answer is NO. Are you a socialist, putting down church to discredit christian faith and their leaders?

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"I Ain't Well--But I Sure Am Better" : Mutual Need Therapy by Jess Lair (1975, Hardcover)

You are talking about a minority. Most pastors take their vocation seriously and spend their lives, sweat and blood for the benefit of the church.

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We serve a God is is able to change hearts and mind, restore broken relationships and bring people back to Him. I totally agree with small groups being the first line of care for a large congregation, but the small groups and small group leaders may not be prepared for some of the things they may encounter. By hiring a Care Pastor to step in when needed sounds to me like a possible answer as well. Yes, but that is why you need a structure. When the problem is too difficult, then it is referred to the Pastor or some other designated care person — some training in self care makes sense.

We are having many families leave our church. For the most part we all disagree with the Pastors leadership. We have now an average of 20 in Worship and 13 in Sunday School.

How Pastoral Care Stunts the Growth of Most Churches - diemaphofibu.ml

No youth but the Pastors son. Unfortunately when member leave so does the money…. Our finances are not good.


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  • Complication 1: Pastors Who Won’t Let Go.
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy
I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy I aint well--but I sure am better: Mutual need therapy

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